negotiation
02.07.2020
Author: Academy-of-capital.ru
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From this material you will learn:
- Description of Verbal Communication
- Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication
- Types of Verbal Communication
- 4 Barriers to Verbal Communication
- Secrets of success in business verbal communication
- Techniques of business verbal communication
- 5 mistakes in mediated communication
Verbal communication is one of three ways of exchanging information between people, which begins from a person’s birth and lasts throughout his life. In childhood, the child expresses his needs, and in adulthood, verbal communication is necessary to solve everyday and business problems.
Despite the fact that communication is an integral part of life, the effectiveness of verbal communication is far from 100%. It is generally accepted that approximately 80% of the intended volume of information can be expressed, but another part will be lost “on the other side” - the interlocutor will perceive approximately 60–70%. Moreover, if you make mistakes in verbal communication, then the chances of correctly conveying what you want are small.
Description of Verbal Communication
We can safely say that verbal communication is the most common method of communication used by the vast majority of people. This term denotes communicative interaction through speech, namely the communication of certain information, its perception and understanding.
Verbal communication occurs through speech, both oral and written. Speech can be expressed either by language or by written signs. Thus, communication through verbal communication implies interaction during a conversation or through messages intended for the interlocutor.
That is, the main means of verbal communication are language and writing. What are the most important functions of language in the process of communication? There are several of them:
- Communication function . Language is the most accessible and most widespread tool for communication between people.
- Constructive function . With the help of language, a person expresses his thoughts in a form accessible to the interlocutor.
- Appellative function . That is, language makes it possible to convince, convey one’s point of view, and influence the opinions of other people.
- Phatic function . Allows you to build or terminate interaction in compliance with accepted standards of etiquette.
- Emotional-expressive function . Provides an opportunity to express your personal perception of the topic under discussion.
- Accumulative function . This is the collection and accumulation of valuable information in the process of communicating with other people, as well as its preservation and transmission to descendants.
- Aesthetic function . You can convey your idea beautifully, elegantly, unusually, somehow in a special way.
We can also name other functions of language as a means of verbal communication. Linguistic specialists distinguish, for example, an ideological, referential function, as well as a nominative, ideological, magical, metalinguistic and a number of others.
The need for communication
Society was formed precisely thanks to the mutual understanding of the members of the primitive pack, because only with the help of communication could people interact, cooperate and find common solutions to complex problems that evolution organized for them.
From the point of view of nature, the human body is a weak structure, not adapted either to competition with predators for a piece of meat, or to survival in difficult weather conditions. We have no claws, no strong jaws or sharp fangs; in cold weather we freeze without clothes, since we do not have a thick undercoat. Evolution has given us the most important tools for development: an opposable thumb that helps us hold tools, a developing brain capable of higher nervous activity, the invention of new things, and the ability to act together.
Group action is only possible if members of the pack can agree on interaction, and for this, humanity was forced to invent language and master verbal communication.
Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication
Forms of communicative interaction differ in the ways of formulating and transmitting information in the process of communication. Verbal communication means the use of speech directly (in its oral or written form), that is, information is presented using words. This form of communication is unique to humans.
Nonverbal interaction is the so-called sign language. Here facial expressions, postures, touches, movements, etc. are used. All these tools open up very wide possibilities that allow you to do without speech. An interesting point: both people and animals communicate using gestures. Remember when a dog wags its tail? When he is happy about something. But the cat expresses dissatisfaction with the same gesture. By baring its teeth, the animal warns that it will attack or defend itself. And if he looks timidly, from under his forehead, it means he regrets his behavior. Similar examples can be listed endlessly.
Typically, information conveyed nonverbally is usually much more truthful than what people express verbally. This is due to the fact that it is not so easy to control your own facial expressions and gestures. Often a person immediately has everything he feels written on his face. But telling lies in words or in text can be very easy.
It is more difficult to lie in a personal conversation than in online correspondence or by telephone. When communicating face-to-face, a person may notice that the interlocutor’s facial expression does not correspond to the words spoken. For example, people are clearly hiding something if during a conversation they try not to look you in the eyes, and their hands do not find a place for themselves, rearrange objects, etc. Obviously, it is much easier to lie with the help of verbal communication than with communication in sign language and facial expressions.
In the process of communicative interaction, not only the moment of delivering information is important, but also its perception by the interlocutor. In order to understand the essence of a conversation, a person should be attentive and use logical thinking. But gestures and facial expressions are perceived intuitively, unconsciously. In addition, when communicating through speech, a language barrier or some misunderstanding may arise due to differences in cultures, traditions, nationalities, etc.
For nonverbal communication, such barriers are not important; they disappear altogether. A smile in any corner of the world signifies friendliness and a good mood, and to greet a person, you just need to wave your hand. Therefore, if you find yourself abroad and the speech barrier has become an obstacle to communication for you, you can perfectly convey your message with gestures. And this proves that nonverbal communication is perhaps more effective than verbal communication.
How to improve a skill
One of the most important requirements for verbal means of communication is the ability to convey information to the interlocutor exactly in the form in which they want to say it.
It would seem, what’s so complicated here? Tell it like it is and everything will be fine. In fact, not all people can boast of the ability to clearly formulate their thoughts, express themselves clearly, and avoid ambiguity and excessive verbosity.
For verbal communication to perform its function well, it can be improved, like any other skill. To do this, try to carefully monitor the following points:
- Listen carefully, do not hesitate to ask whether you understood your opponent correctly, and explain how you perceived his words - often problems with communication occur precisely because of misunderstanding.
- Learn to formulate your thoughts clearly, concisely, without unnecessary words: if you yourself forget where you started, how can your interlocutor understand you?
As an exercise, mentally formulate the idea you want to talk about, and then outline it on paper as a speech outline. After several repetitions, you will understand how much unnecessary stuff we sometimes try to cram inappropriately into our descriptions, and colleagues or relatives lose the thread of reasoning already in the middle of a conversation, getting lost in unnecessary details.
Types of Verbal Communication
Types of verbal communication include:
- Conversation in the form of conversation, exchange of opinions
That is, this is a method of communicative interaction, during which each of the participants (there may be two or more) expresses their point of view on the subject under discussion. It is understood that the conversation is conducted in a calm, relaxed manner, and any of the interlocutors can express their own opinion. Here you can ask questions, find out important details, and clarify any ambiguities. Conversation can be very useful and even necessary if there is an urgent question or problem that requires clarification and solution. This form of conversation, such as an interview, involves a dialogue that is specially organized on a given topic.
- Conversation in the form of an argument
Here, in the process of communication, it is the opposing points of view of the participants that are expressed. That is, opinions do not coincide, views on the issue under discussion are not the same, everyone defends his position, gives arguments, fights and tries to prove that he is right.
A dispute is a type of verbal communication, which in Russian is also called controversy, discussion, dispute or debate.
For example, dispute comes from the Latin words disputar (to reason) and disputatio (debate). Previously, a dispute meant the defense of a scientific work, after writing which a person was awarded an academic degree. Now this exact meaning is no longer attached to this word. Nowadays, a debate is a public controversial discussion, the topic of which (social or scientific) is chosen in advance.
Another form of verbal communication is discussion. The word comes from the Latin discusso (research, analysis, consideration) and denotes a public debate, during which the interlocutors express their opinions, compare, contrast them and find the only correct approach to the problem under discussion. During the discussion, the participants themselves agree with the correct point of view, therefore this method of verbal communication is one of the most effective.
Participants in the discussion should, if possible, adhere to certain rules; either all those present or only some of them can express their opinions. The discussion is led by the chairman, and everyone else participates in it on equal terms. Those present can listen and are free to speak if they wish; special speakers will not be appointed. For the discussion of special issues, rules are established (either strict or allowing variations), and the appointed chairman monitors its compliance.
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Otherwise, disputes take place in the form of polemics. The term comes from the Greek polemicos (warlike, hostile). Controversy is a tougher type of dispute, when there is a confrontation of opinions, disagreement of the parties, in which opposition manifests itself, an obvious struggle of beliefs and statements. Issues on which participants express fundamental disagreement are brought up for discussion; they try their best to prove the correctness of their point of view and the fallacy of the positions of their opponents.
Polemics as a form of verbal communication aims to overcome the enemy and convince one of the unconditional correctness of one’s opinion. This is the difference between polemics and discussion and dispute, where the parties are ready to study all the judgments and jointly come to a common correct decision.
At the same time, it is important that participants in polemics that touch upon serious socially important issues do not set themselves the goal of “just to win.” We are talking about serious aspects here, so the task of the speakers is to adhere to strong principles and identify what exactly can interfere with the harmonious development of society.
In polemics, the one who has the art of persuasion is strong. Here it is important to be able not only to clearly express your thoughts, but also to provide convincing scientific arguments for them.
The wording of debate comes from the French debat (argument). And the word debate was used in the 17th century in Russian.
Flexibility of speech
One of the important characteristics of verbal communication is the flexibility of speech, which varies from person to person and depends on the character and conditions in which he grew up and was brought up. Someone has a rich vocabulary, replete with adjectives, and knows how to express their thoughts brightly, interestingly and effectively. Another prefers to say little, uses short, inexpressive phrases, but sentences that are very specific in meaning, does not overuse epithets and rarely flaunts beautiful speeches.
It cannot be said that the second is bad and the first is good, since this is just a way of communication and a toolkit, and often the same thought can be expressed either flowery and verbose, or simply, without decoration.
But the fact remains: in a society based on interaction, built on constant communication between people, people with good speaking skills are usually favored.
Secrets of success in business verbal communication
Negotiations are an integral part of running any business. It is there that partners negotiate deals, sign contracts, etc. Your success and profitability of your business will largely depend on how well you know how to communicate, convey your point of view, and convince. Essentially, if you have good verbal business communication skills, then the business will flourish and generate income.
Equally important is the ability to inspire everyone around you with your ideas and enthusiasm, family members, team members, even your bosses. It's good if you can consider short-sighted decisions and dissuade people from implementing them. In essence, this is the foundation of verbal business communication.
Even ancient people at some point realized that reaching agreement on controversial issues was possible not only through military action. Yes, with spears and arrows you can easily get rid of dissenting opponents, subjugate the weak and force them to work for you, but in the heat of the struggle, your loved ones will also die. It is possible that at one time a simple survival instinct worked, but the person realized that negotiations, especially those conducted competently, are much more effective in helping to solve problems.
You can give a lot of examples of what methods people resorted to in negotiations at one time or another. Someone was waving a pistol left and right, and there were entire groups that sought influence by force. Somewhere in the far East, a joker walked around an old bazaar who, thanks to his sharp mind and sense of humor, was able to resolve any unexpected conflict. And the wise decisions of King Solomon will forever remain in history as the most competent and far-sighted.
- Masterfully conducted negotiations are half the success of any business
We can talk about competent technology for building verbal communication forever; this is an important and often discussed topic. And the issue of improving negotiation skills always remains relevant.
Where to gain this skill? It will appear with experience, here you should constantly practice, analyze mistakes (both your own and others), and learn lessons. Of course, the desire to learn and improve is important here. First, you study the issue theoretically, then train in the practical use of the acquired knowledge, evaluate the results, correct weak points, and then do it all over again. Work, work and more work. This is the only way you will gain serious skills, hone your skills in verbal communication and be able to negotiate competently and effectively.
In fact, you can work on improving your negotiation skills throughout your life; there are no limits or restrictions. With new acquired experience, you only hone your own skills even better.
No matter how much experience a person has in negotiating, there is no limit to perfection. Anyone who believes that they have reached the pinnacle of mastery in this matter simply does not want to continue to develop. You can and definitely need to constantly hone your skills.
- What makes a successful negotiation
To achieve high skill in negotiations, you should not only learn the basics of verbal communication, but also constantly improve your own skills.
What are the components of successful negotiations? Everything is important here, the smallest details, including sounds, smells, taste, color perception and the form of contact with the interlocutor. In the process of communication, this is reflected in the words spoken, the gestures a person uses, facial expressions, voice intonation, etc.
There are certain foundations for the formation of verbal communication, on which any negotiations are built. Сommunico translated from Latin means “I make it common, I connect, I communicate.” That is, the essence of communications is to establish a connection between people, to establish a stable, understandable and accessible exchange of messages for both parties.
In the process of communication, information is transformed from verbal to non-verbal form or in the reverse order.
In simple terms, information that exists in the head of one of the interlocutors is transmitted to another (one or more) using some verbal or non-verbal signals. And here it is important that these signals are as clear as possible. Then we can assume that communication was built correctly and the negotiations were successful. If we use the terminology of professional psychologists, then receiving and assimilation of information is called internalization, and giving information to others is called exteriorization.
It is not always possible to establish communication in such a way that the channels of output and input of information perfectly correspond to each other. Here you should pay attention to how the interlocutor reacts non-verbally to messages, what his internal state is at the time of receiving them. A person can be surprised, show joy, anger, agree or disagree, etc. And these reactions are expressed in the form of verbal signals, that is, some exclamations, phrases.
The functions of verbal communication are not to simply give or receive information, but to build a common process that is meaningful for both parties. That is, it is important that one participant in the communication expresses his thought, and the other hears it, realizes and accepts it.
Effective communication is precisely built on the fact that the parties first exchange information, digest it, and then together comprehend the essence of the issue being discussed.
- Techniques for conducting effective negotiations
Every conversation begins with a greeting. To do this, you can use different phrases, for example, “Good morning!”, That is, you wish your interlocutor a good start to the day. Or a simple word “Hello!”, which implies a wish for health. The greeting question “How are you?” you show interest and seem to invite them to talk. Or you greet a person with the phrase “It’s so good that you came”, “I’m very glad to see you!”, which undoubtedly demonstrates your respectful attitude.
At the beginning of negotiations, these so-called emotional strokes are extremely important; they set the partner up for positive communication, as if they give confidence in advance that everything will go well and the interaction will be useful and fruitful for both parties.
Of great importance is such a moment as addressing the interlocutor by name. Always remember that one’s own name is something that a person is pleased to hear always and under any circumstances (after all, that’s what parents, family members and other close people call him). Use this fact in verbal communication. Be sure to address your interlocutor by name, and in no case make mistakes in his pronunciation (this is unpleasant and even offensive to hear), however, you should also not repeat the first name and patronymic too often, so as not to get an obvious overkill.
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Depending on how the negotiations are structured, you can add social strokes, expressed approximately in the following phrases: “You are immediately visible as a professional”, “Your subordinates praised you very much, and I see that it was not in vain”, “I have heard a lot about you” , “Your long-time partners highly recommended you to me,” “I heard that you always keep your promises.” This is very reminiscent of moments when a mother praises her child: “How good you are!”, “You are the best child in the world,” “I’m proud of you,” and so on.
Mikhail Dashkiev about Sergei Azimov
- The "Mirror" principle
The way you behave and communicate will certainly affect the people around you. Thus, by looking at the reactions of others, you can draw conclusions about what is wrong in your behavior, what people perceive as normal, and where changes would be helpful.
That is, in the process of verbal communication you receive feedback from others. They, like a mirror, reflect the results of all your words and actions, and you, in turn, give a verbal reaction to the behavior of your interlocutor and can thus control the course of negotiations.
It is important to convey to your partner information about how his behavior causes you to react. On the one hand, you can perceive his words and actions in a positive way, and therefore support the chosen line of negotiations. But you may not like what is happening, then you will have a negative attitude towards everything your partner says and make efforts to correct the situation and correct the behavior of your interlocutor.
All these are options for feedback when building verbal communication. You can show another, seemingly neutral, reaction, namely, tell your partner that he, of course, can have his own point of view, which, without a doubt, is professional and valuable, but your vision of the issue is still different.
Sign language
Gestures are usually called socially practiced movements that can convey a person’s emotional state. There are a very large number of gestures, and they are all classified according to the purpose of transmitting information by a person and his internal state. Gestures are:
- illustrators (complement the message);
- regulators (the person’s attitude is visible);
- emblems (common symbols);
- affectors (transmission of emotions);
- assessments;
- confidence;
- uncertainty;
- self-control;
- expectations;
- denial;
- location;
- dominance;
- insincerity;
- courtship.
By how a person behaves during a conversation, one can determine his internal state, how interested he is in the exchange of information, and whether there is sincerity.
Techniques of business verbal communication
Remember the famous law of the jungle? It sounds like this: “You and I are of the same blood, you and I.” This is an excellent example of how to establish verbal communication, build dialogues and negotiate.
The effectiveness of communication will increase many times over if the interlocutor feels a kindred spirit in you, sees that your life values and priorities, although they do not completely coincide with his own views, are generally close and understandable.
This approach echoes the mirror principle discussed above. You reveal yourself to a person (“mirror”), and in response he willingly demonstrates (reflects) his attitude towards you, your behavior, actions, words.
In the modern world, this technique is actively used for conducting all kinds of negotiations and meetings. Such events are organized in suitable places (taking into account the interests of the participants), a relaxed atmosphere is created where, over a cup of tea or coffee (and perhaps a cigarette or stronger drinks), people have the opportunity to communicate freely and with pleasure.
And here the main thing is not to forget about the main goal of the negotiations. Do not put too much pressure on your partner or demonstrate excessive openness bordering on intrusiveness. In response, he may withdraw, and further communication will become difficult.
Experts in verbal communications identify four parallel levels at which, as a rule, the communication process takes place:
- A set of well-known stereotypes and templates (clichés).
- Real events and accurate facts.
- Opinions of communication participants, their own judgments and ideas.
- Emotional manifestations.
What are templates and clichés for? They make it possible to start and end a conversation correctly, and to build communication in accordance with generally accepted standards and norms. Yes, we are talking about stereotypes and memorized rituals, but it is with their help that you demonstrate to your interlocutor your openness, willingness to listen and accept the information being conveyed. At the beginning of a conversation, they usually ask a question, state their own point of view, or voice some important fact.
How to start a conversation? For example, use the so-called presence effect. Find something interesting to discuss in your surroundings and start talking about it (but don’t look around too openly, do it carefully, as if by chance).
Another topic for communication is the interlocutor himself, but such a conversation is more difficult to start. To push your partner to interact and get a response from him, you can use the following phrases: “Do you think I’m right?”, “What do you think about this?”, “Do you agree?” etc.
How else can you engage a person in a conversation? Talk about something interesting, about the events of your own life, a book you read, touch on any topic that can become the basis for pleasant communication.
An indispensable condition for effective verbal communication is genuine interest in the partner and his point of view. It is important for a person to see that you are truly interested in him, and then your interaction will be as productive as possible.
Verbalization in personal communication
People do not have telepathic abilities, but, unfortunately, sometimes we forget about it. How often do women complain that their husband does not understand them, gives them the wrong gift, calls back too rarely, and at the same time a man can complain to friends that his wife is silent, but expects miracles of insight from him, does not hint about what gift he dreams of, distracts him with frequent calls , interfering with work.
What seems obvious to us is not always clear from the outside, so one of the main rules of communication is “verbalize.” Without speaking our thoughts, there is no guarantee that our gestures, vague hints and facial expressions will be perceived correctly.
Only the word makes it possible to clearly understand the message of the interlocutor, and situations when people guess from hints and get to the point are extremely rare, while in the event of a mistake, both are disappointed.
Verbal means of communication cannot be neglected even with the closest people. Resentments can accumulate for years, but sooner or later they will result in a serious scandal, and it may happen that while one of the spouses thought that everything was fine, the other was sure that things were heading towards divorce. And if they had talked in time, misunderstandings would have been eliminated.